Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World

I have been reading this book for the past month...along with a couple others. LOVE IT!! I wanted to post a few quotes from this book because it has really been an eye-opener for us in raising Isaac. We used to think that we should point out his skin color to him in an effort to build his self esteem about who he is. But this book talks about the dangers in children become "race obsessed" at too young of an age. It says that developmentally children do not grasp race and skin color as a concept until well over the age of six! So there is no point at two-years-old in placing a focus on this. At his age we should be introducing him to all kinds of people and teaching him ways we are all similar, not different. The author (who is African American) says that there will be plenty of opportunities throughout his life for him to be made aware of the differences among people. I thought that was pretty interesting.

Here is a quote from the Introduction: "children who are loved, cared for, and shielded as much as possible from early experiences with racism grow up with a high sense of self-worth regardless of their race."

My favorite quote so far in the book (chapter 8) says, "Studies show that if they have supportive schools and communities, black children wo are raised in white families have as good a chance of growing up feeling positive about themselves as black children raised in black families." Breathing a sigh of relief from that! Although we always felt in our hearts that we could give our children what they need no matter what our race is in comparison to theirs. This book has helped to affirm that.

One of the things I am most convicted about in reading this book, is how often we label people's race in daily conversation if they are different from us. For instance I might say to Billy, "This cashier at Target was so helpful. She was African American." However...how often would someone say "We had a really great Caucasian waiter at Chilis." That just doesn't sound right...so why do we have to point out that someone is African American, Asian, or Hispanic? You might be thinking "I don't do that!" But be honest and think about how often you do. It does not make us racist to notice or point out a person's race...but is it necessary to focus on that when we describe people? Often it is the first thing we will mention. Something to think about...